The Life That Was.

An image so subtle, almost indiscernible,
and yet, branded in my memory forever.
Clear like a scene from reality,
hazy like the uncertainty of a dream…

The swirling splashes of colour,
The breeze that felt almost real
The wings that were my flight
The music that was my heart
And the face that was comfort.
It was fantasy… my fantasy
Abstract to the artist’s brush
Filled with lines for God’s pen.


An alternate world, where I was me
A world where I was happy
Where I was loved, desired, cherished
Where I was me, the way it was meant to be
Nothing ever made sense there
Nothing was ever the same there
Everything seemed pointless, weightless
And yet, I felt real, I felt substantial

It was my place to visit
my shoulder to cry on
my hand to hold
my lover to hug
my friend to trust
my enemy to blame
my mirror to reflect
my happiness that comforted me
it was my place, 
my place where I finally found peace.

This place that I visited irregularly,
one that was always open for me,
and only for me,
It was deep inside your heart,
Where I was the safest
For all those years,
From the moment we loved

And yet you stole it from me
Snatched it from me without warning
Running away with my reality
Leaving me shattered,
Trapped in my nightmares
That pleased you, did it?

You got away so easily
I couldn’t let that happen
I needed an escape too
And my world, I needed back.
So, I took the plunge
And, here I am
With you, reunited again.

But something’s wrong
You seem distant, you keep pulling away
Are you no longer mine?
Is it because of how I got here?
Why was it so easy for you to leave
and so difficult for me to stay?
Just because you were sick and I wasn’t?
Because I killed myself, while you were murdered by God?